On Friday I submitted my yearly report to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Department of International Cooperation, which funded my 2012 child rights awareness raising project. Therewith I officially “closed” the year 2012, so it is definitely time to put that year behind me, finish that chapter; it is time to move forward, look ahead and if necessary finish any unfinished business as fast as possible. On my way back to the office, I stopped by at the cathedral, walked in and light a few candles – among them one to say “thank you” and one for a friend abroad.
I then sat down and said a little prayer – a thank you note to “God” for having given me the strength to fight my battle, for having given me my life back, for being alive, for all the support I had by the various people in my life. Sitting on that bench I felt like I was on the brink of a new part of my life. I took a deep breath, grabbed my bag and left. Opening the cathedral door to let myself outside was like stepping into a new world.
I wrote those thoughts by candle light, in my favourite bar, sipping on a strawberry juice, trying to transform my feelings and thoughts into words and put them down on paper. I felt humbled by what I have experienced since October 3rd, 2012 – my cancerversary. I know full well that my journey is not over, but I can see the silver lining on the horizon, I can see that the sun is about to rise again. For a few moments it was like as if I had made it through already. I felt relieved, grateful, and yes happy, but maybe also a bit overwhelmed, and definitely proud of myself for what I have accomplished.